Grief for an Aunt who just leave the World

Hey friends been lazy writing my blog as I was busy these days. I got a part time job which the schedule is not fixed yet, we visit 2 Aunts of my husband who is in the hospital. I feel closer to them even if I am just a new member to their family. Having seen them for 8 months. Their welcome hugs made me feel comfortable. Nice treatment made me feel am home with my real family. Aunt Gerty as they fondly call her is one very close to me as I was the one who clean her house every Friday. She cannot do the cleaning that much as she is already 90, alone in her apartment and besides she had a parkinson’s too. After cleaning we had 1 hour of socializing as she fondly call it. We talked and talked about her late husband. Aunt Gerty’s,been in the hospital for 2 weeks already. She’s not feeling that well for days, weak and keep on sleeping, maybe because of her medicines that when she takes made her drowsy. Until one day while she was in the bathroom preparing to go to the party she fell to the floor, she push her lifeline before she got unconscious but no one rescue her. When she regain her consciousness she picked herself up and go to her bed sleep again. When she got up that’s the time that she push again her lifeline and called her niece who called the 911 too and right in there go to her apartment and brought her to the hospital. I am praying that she will be alright soon and that she could get out of the hospital too. Aunt Fran is also near to my heart, she stays with us above our apartment, on the second floor. She’s been feed thru a tube as she had problems with swallowing too. She’s been in the hospital for 2 weeks already. She was 92 years old. She is coughing very hard that’s why her daughters call 911 so she could be in the emergency room. She is not in good condition when I visit her last Saturday. She was put in the nursing home and the doctors frequently visit her and give her a series of tests. She is just breathing thru an oxygen machine, the heartbeat is monitored too. After my last visit I feel uneasy and I ask my husband the other night when is her birthday. He told me that it would be this November 23. The reason why I ask that, is because I had a feeling that she will not reach her birthday with that response that she had with her medications. And true enough last night my husband told me that my aunt’s daughter called her telling him that she had parts of her body is not responding. I just shook my head and said this is it. She will not live that long. And this morning when I came from my work, my husband announced that his aunt leave the world already. I told him she just wait for me to come here, attend our wedding which was last May. She just want to see her nephew to be married. I maybe wrong but I think it’s a coincidence. I feel sad because I remember my grandma that even if she was already gone for 24 years now still I could not move on until this day. I am still sorry for not seeing her. We were not by her side when she died. And to think that I am her favorite granddaughter. I always feel sorry that I was not able to take care of her when she was still alive. I took caregiver course, as I feel that it is my way of caring the elderly, my way of paying back the lost time with my grandma which I was unable to do. But the problem is when I get much involved to the elderly and they passed, I am hurt. That I cried, feel sorry for them. I admit that I am strong with things. I remember that when I get to theraphy of my right arm the therapist is telling me that I am strong no matter how she pull and exercise my hand she never saw me crying while there are lots of patients bigger than me and most are men they cry when she touch the part that is hurting. I told her back that the only thing that made me cry is the drama events, he he he. Put a movie drama in the DVD player or let me attend to the patients who are old and dying in a minute you will see my tears falling down from my cheeks. Anyway, I know that she’s been called by our Lord already. I know that it is already her time to go. Her mission on earth was already fulfilled. Though it is sad that she leave us around I still pray for her, we know that she is happy joining the Lord. We are praying for her soul’s eternal repose. Aunt Fran wherever you are just remember that we love you and you are in our hearts and in our prayers….